ADHD in Women: Why It’s Often Missed and What to Look For

For many women, the journey to understanding their own mind begins with confusion and frustration. ADHD is commonly associated with easily distracted schoolboys and overt hyperactivity, but for countless women, the reality is far quieter and frequently

misunderstood. ADHD in women often goes unrecognised until adulthood, often after years of silently wrestling internal chaos, emotional overwhelm or the persistent feeling that something just doesn’t add up.

Why is ADHD Missed in Women?

Historically, diagnostic criteria stem from how ADHD presents in young boys - disruptive, fidgeting, trouble staying seated or focused in a classroom. These traits are relatively easy to spot in structured, monitored environments. However, women often present differently and that’s where misunderstandings begin. 

Instead of running around or drawing attention to themselves, many girls and women experience constant internal restlessness, appearing quiet, dreamy or overly conscientious. Emotional sensitivity, perfectionism, people-pleasing and chronic overwhelm are all common, yet rarely tied to ADHD in childhood and adolescence. As a result, many women are misdiagnosed with anxiety or depression, or told they are simply too sensitive or not trying hard enough.

This misalignment between experience and diagnostic criteria often leaves women feeling like they are failing at life, despite doing everything they can to keep up. The pressure to manage work, family life and social expectations without understanding the underlying neurological challenges can become completely exhausting. 

The Role of Masking

A major reason that ADHD in women is overlooked is the phenomenon of masking. From an early age, girls are socially expected to fit in, behave and please others. In response, many women with ADHD develop coping mechanisms to hide their struggles. They may rigidly adhere to routines, over-prepare tasks or push themselves to meet social or professional expectations. 

Outwardly they appear capable, even high achieving. Internally, they often battle mental clutter, self doubt and burnout. Masking isn’t deliberate deception, it's a survival strategy. Women may unconsciously imitate what’s expected of them. But this constant effort to ‘keep it together’ can result in severe mental and physical fatigue, identity loss and a delayed recognition of their own needs. Over time, many women reach breaking point, especially during life moments like starting university, becoming a parent or managing a demanding career. 

Recognising the Signs of ADHD in Women

Signs of ADHD in women are often subtle and internalised, making them harder to detect, especially without professional help. Many women describe their minds as constantly in motion, thoughts and never ending to do lists running on a loop. Despite being busy, they may feel they’ve achieved very little, leading to guilt and a harsh inner critic. Women with ADHD often struggle to switch off, finding it difficult to relax even when exhausted. What may appear as high functioning anxiety could instead be undiagnosed ADHD.

Other common symptoms include:

• Disorganisation and difficulty with time-management

• Inconsistent focus, particularly on overwhelming tasks

• Emotional intensity and sensitivity

• Dependence on elaborate systems, reminders or lists to stay on track

While these strategies may help temporarily, they rarely address the underlying neurological challenges. Over time, the emotional toll, feelings of failure, shame or confusion can severely affect self-esteem and mental health.

Why Diagnosis Matters

A diagnosis of ADHD in adulthood isn’t about labels; it’s about understanding how your brain works, or has always worked. With that clarity comes the opportunity to access support, develop healthier coping strategies and make choices aligned with your strengths and needs. 

For many women, diagnosis is life-changing. It validates long held beliefs and patterns that never made sense. It opens doors to tailored treatment through medication, lifestyle adjustments, therapy or coaching. The NICE guidelines affirm the importance of comprehensive ADHD assessment across all genders and life stages - but women remain underdiagnosed and underserved. 

Studies suggest that between half and three-quarters of women with ADHD in the UK remain undiagnosed, while only a small proportion access treatment. Recent data shows that around 13.9% of adults screen positive for ADHD using the ASRS, yet only 1.8% have been formally diagnosed. 

Support at Jacobs Clinic

At Jacobs Clinic, we understand that ADHD often presents differently in women. Our assessments are compassionate and comprehensive, helping you feel heard and empowered, wherever you are on your journey.

If you recognise any signs of ADHD in yourself or have questions about diagnosis, our team is here to help. Contact us to start your journey.

Tel: 0161 647 8039. 

Email: contact@jacobsclinic.co.uk